BASIC VITAL & TEMPORAL DATA:
| Characteristic |
Observed Detail |
Caroi's Archival Notes |
| True Nature: |
Trans-Dimensional Traveler |
Takes the earthly physical form of a black-and-white tuxedo domestic feline whenever entering our timeline continuum. |
| Signature Pose: |
The Crossed Front Paws |
Whenever Sparkie lies down with paws crossed, local gravitational fluctuations stabilize. It is believed this is his method for anchoring himself to our three-dimensional reality. |
| Favorite Food: |
Lake Michigan Whitefish & Fresh Apple slices |
Sparta is orchard country. Sparkie will only eat if the bowl is placed precisely along the magnetic north-south meridian of the kitchen. |
| Fur Texture: |
Silky, high-conductance coat |
Brushing him generates continuous blue corona static that occasionally illuminates unplugged 40W fluorescent bulbs. |
| Vocalizations: |
Harmonic carrier purr |
Emits a steady, low-frequency resonance measured at 24.3 Hz. This sound has been known to calm crying babies and repair corrupted 3.5-inch floppy disks. |
THREE OBSERVED TEMPORAL ANOMALIES:
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The Blanket Horizon Phenomenon:
When Sparkie crawls beneath a bed sheet or quilt, the space under the blanket extends farther than the dimensions of the bed. I once reached my arm under to pet him and could not find the mattress edge for nearly four feet.
-
The 1942 Sparta Sentinel-Leader Connection:
In the archives of Sparta, Michigan, page 4 of the March 1942 Sentinel-Leader contains my historical ancestor’s "Cards of Thanks" notice after an unexplained event in town. Eyewitness accounts from that week mention a tuxedo cat with crossed paws sitting peacefully on the town hall steps during a power outage.
-
The Christmas Tree Stasis Field:
Every December, Sparkie assumes his position beneath the spruce tree. While resting there, the tree needles never dry out, and glass ornaments slowly oscillate without any air draft in the room.
IF LOCATED IN MICHIGAN:
Do not attempt to pick Sparkie up with nylon gloves or rubber boots, as this insulates him and can cause an inadvertent micro-jump to the year 1888. Simply place an open cardboard box on the floor and wait for him to fold into it.
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